Skegness Magazine

“Apollo calling Houston – permission to land – in SKEGNESS!!”

Skegness planned to stage its own moon landing in 1971 as part of the illuminations switch-on spectacle, just one day after the American space flight splashed down. But the elaborate plans were fluffed when the “Spacekraft Margarine” refused to be launched… (Come on, someone MUST remember this!)

ONE HUNDRED and fifteen balloons filled with £30 worth of helium failed to launch Skegness’s first spacecraft on Sunday. Despite a four-hour battle to send the mock lunar module into a hovering position 350 feet above the South Boating Lake island, it stubbornly refused to leave the launching pad and David Nixon’s dramatic descent to switch on the illuminations had to be abandoned.

Instead the TV comedian and magician stepped out from behind it wearing a spacesuit and helmet in a scene which had thousands of people on the terraces rocking with laughter.
His switch on of the illuminations was the climax of an imaginative venture which, because it failed to go according to plan, caused more excitement and laughter than a perfectly smooth operation could have hoped to achieve.
The idea was that, just one day after the American astronauts had splashed down from their successful space flight, Skegness would stage its own moon landing.
For weeks the urban council surveyor’s department have been working on the project. They constructed the “Spacekraft Margarine” out of bamboo and plastic in strict secrecy and took it to the island on Sunday morning.
CONFIDENT
The British Oxygen Company had been quite confident that three bottles of lighter-than-air helium would blast it off to the required height, from where it would be hauled down at the crucial moment.

Searchlights would have  played on it as it made its slow descent to the illuminated moonscape on the island with David Nixon apparently inside and seeking landing instructions from mission control through loudspeakers. Then, as it landed, he would seem to step from it.
Inspired by this vision, the surveyor’s men worked on, pumping helium into balloon after balloon until they were packed tightly inside the flimsy Spacekraft. But to their consternation it refused to rise.
Leakage from the balloons was diagnosed as a possible cause and hair lacquer was sprayed on them to make them less porous. But still it stayed motionless, as though rooted to the ground.

At 6 pm, just as David Nixon, fresh from his Australian tour arrived at the Vine Hotel, they sawed off the Spacekraft’s legs in a desperate bid to make it lighter. But still it remained on its launching pad a few feet above the cratered surface of the moon.
It was all systems stop.
Afterwards, the surveyor, Mr Maurice Cooper, said : “The staff worked very hard at it and I was very sorry. At 6 o’clock we nearly decided to call it right off but we devised another system and it caused more fun that way.”
No rehearsal had been possible, said the foreshore manager, Mr Cairns Boston, because of the expense of the helium.
“The theory was that we hadn’t calculated for the weight of the air round about it and the air resistance as it rose,” he said. “What we should have done is to forget completely about the balloons and make one large balloon — to seal the vehicle and pump the helium directly in.”.

IN DISGUISE
Having decided to keep the Spacekraft on its elevated plat. form and haul it over to make a gentle landing some four of five feet below at the appropriate moment, the next problem was how to smuggle David Nixon on to the island.
This was done at 8.20 pm by Mr Ray Grange, the council’s publicity officer, who dressed him as a workman with flat cap and glasses and had him help a council driver, Mr Bill Ford, carry a plank from his lorry on the path, through the waiting crowds, over the footbridge and on to the island.
Only one person recognised the tall figure under his disguise.
Then came the change into a blue “spacesuit” in preparation for the switch-on at 9 o’clock.
Meanwhile the Barking Drum Majorettes were marching along the Parades followed by a group of German folk dancers in national costume. waving flags and shouting rhythmically, as special police held up traffic for them.
They arrived at the south boating lake to join the band of the 17th/21st Lancers and hear Mr Boston tell the waiting crowds that they were about to witness “the first single-handed moon landing.”
BY STORK …
The ” Spacekraft Margarine” which they saw before them had been blasted off from Gibraltar Point three days ago. Astronaut Nixon would emerge and energise Skegness illuminations by pricking the moon’s surface with his Jolly Fisherman flagpole.
A blast of fireworks was followed by a familiar voice saying : “I always thought I’d come by Stork !”
After a short humorous con- versation with Mr Grange at Mission Control. Skegness, David arrived to a salvo of rockets.
As the spacecraft edged forward, it was caught by a sudden gust of Wind which toppled it over on its side to show the apt words underneath
“Skegness is so bracing.”
“It’s playing hell with me,” cried David as council workmen rushed forward to right it.
As they did so the multi-coloured balloons inside streamed away, airborne at last, over the North Sea.
It was a truly sensational landing, and had the crowd screaming with delight. One spectator confessed afterwards that she actually thought David Nixon was inside !
He appeared, unharmed, from round the side, saying : “I think I’m there.”
After he had stuck the pole into the ground to the sound of a fanfare, there was a slight pause (explained afterwards, by Mr Boston, as being due to the distance between the moon and the earth) and then the lights sprang on all along the foreshore.

I do all that ?” gasped David. He went on to thank everyone for asking him to do “this happy thing” and said he hoped everyone would now realise that there was nothing wrong with their TV sets — he really looked like that.
The Majorettes, he explained came from the London borough of Barking. They didn’t actually bark unless you actually bit them.
LAKE TOUR
After wishing Skegness a successful season, he was driven round the lake by Mrs Pat Daulby. in a motor boat to
give
people on the terraces a
close-up view.
Finally, standing in an open Land Rover. David joined the band, the Majorettes and the . German dancers in a proces- “ion through South Parade, its pavements packed thick with waving fans, to the Town Hall.
There he attended a reception given by the council chairman. Coun Bill Elliott, and received from him a Jolly Fisherman statuette.
In reply a delighted David said- “I’ve heard about this, of course. I’ll treasure it, I really will. I’m very touched because I didn’t think I was that good.
“I think you’re a smashing lot of people. You’ve been so friendly and nice to us.”
With him was his son, Nicholas who watched the switch-on from among the invited guests on the island. They left early as David had to be up at 5 am to go to Leeds for two “TV recordings.
Among those present were Mrs Elliott, the civic heads of Roston, Mablethorpe, Louth and Spilsby and local members of the Magic Circle.
“We shall evolve something even more unusual next year,” Mr Boston promised as an eventful day drew to its close.
EXTRA £1,000
This year an extra £1,000 had been spent on the illuminations, mainly on floodlighting and illuminated fountains in the Compass Gardens, on the site of the old foreshore centre, and at various other points.
But some of the familiar set pieces have worn out and been discarded and
“Welcome” signs have been erected on Wainfleet Road and at the Sea View Road and Castleton Boulevard entrances.
The clock tower has been redesigned and the large revolving windmill placed just beyond Natureland to provide the north ‘end with a spectacle.
At the southern end of the boating lake, a paddle steamer is built up with lights.
The waterway quays are illuminated with lanterns and it Is intended to run a couple of  boats after dark.
Some 12 miles of cable and 64,000 bulbs have been used to create this. wonderland of light. Ten thousand fairy lights alone have been used in the one and a half miles of strip lighting along the front.
“The electricians have done a ,fine job though they have had a lot of heartaches and headaches,” said Mr Cooper, “and we hope that it will please as We always do.”

Source: Skegness Standard 1971